


under my skin

by lockedinmybody



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confession, M/M, Misunderstanding, Unresolved Feelings, it's quite soft despite maths being a plot point i promise, maths is mentioned, the rest of the 118 crew is mentioned, they're a family but they're not acknowledging it yet for some reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21724936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedinmybody/pseuds/lockedinmybody
Summary: Christopher has trouble with his maths homework, and asks Buck for help behind Eddie's back.Eddie finds out.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 18
Kudos: 477





	under my skin

It wasn't supposed to go this way, wasn't supposed to become a 'thing', but it somehow did.

The first thing that happened was Eddie dropping Christopher off at Buck's, the both of them on a day off and Eddie finally getting a chance to run some errands and do some things for his abuela he promised months ago.  
Eddie gently places Christopher down on the couch, tousles his curls with his hand and tells him he loves him before walking back to Buck.  
"Really appreciate this man," Eddie says, squeezing Buck's shoulder.  
Buck resists the urge to roll his eyes. Like this is the first time Buck's looking after Christopher, even though it happens so much at this point Buck makes sure he always has Chris' favorite snack shoved somewhere in a cupboard.  
"No problem," Buck smiles and then Eddie's out the door.

"So, you wanna battle me again, see if you can beat me this time?" Buck says whilst holding up a controller.  
Christopher sighs.  
"I have homework I should do first."  
Buck smiles gently, eyes soft at Chris' disappointed but honest face. He's never met a kid more endearing.  
"You can do homework at your dad's later today though, right?" Buck says as he sits down next to Chris.  
Chris shakes his head. "I don't get it, and I don't wanna ask dad because he's already tired from work."

Buck swallows thickly. He knows Eddie would never give Chris the impression that he can't ask for help, regardless how long of a shift he's just had.  
This is just a child looking out for his dad. Warmth floods his chest as he looks at the small boy next to him, big eyes peering up from behind his glasses.  
"I can help you," Buck offers, willing down the nerves that flare up. Christopher's face brightens at that, and he grabs his backpack with a big grin.  
Chris opens a notebook and starts turning pages. All Buck sees is numbers, and he curses himself internally. His best friend's kid is about to be incredibly disappointed with his math skills.  
The thought that he probably shouldn't be _that_ bothered by the thought of letting Christopher down crosses his mind.

"Okay, so let me see," Buck trails off, grabbing the exercise book Chris hands him.  
They run through a few of the sums together, and Chris has got the basic stuff down.  
Then they get to the exercises that involve a story.  
"And then you subtract the number we started with," Buck says, looking at Christopher to try and gauge if he's making sense.  
"Why?" Christopher asks after a few seconds, head tilted to the side.  
"Because we're trying to figure out how many apples are left," Buck says, the words coming out slowly as he quickly reads the exercise again to make sure he's saying the right thing and not confusing Christopher even more.  
"But why aren't we doing anything with this?" Christopher says, pointing at a number they calculated before, scribbled in Buck's barely readable handwriting.  
"Because," Buck says, stretching both syllables and trailing off in the end.  
He snaps his mouth shut. "Okay, I'm grabbing you a juice and a snack and then we'll start over."

It takes them an hour to finish Christopher's homework in the end. Buck answers every question he has with patience, is careful to never sound frustrated even though he was - at the maths, not Chris - and ruffles his hair when Christopher figures it out and gives him the right answer.  
By the time Eddie comes back, they're halfway through a movie. Buck's leaning all the way back, Christopher tucked to his side, his head against Buck's arm.  
"Hey," Buck says softly, turning his head to look at Eddie.  
Eddie smiles back, in that way he often does when he looks at Buck and Chris, eyes crinkled at the sides and the corners of his mouth turned up.  
"Hey, you guys look cozy."  
Christopher turns at the sound of his dad's voice, a sleepy smile on his face. "Hey dad, are you gonna finish the movie with us?"  
Eddie gives Buck a quick look, but he just raises his eyebrows expectantly at him. Eddie smiles. "Sure."  
Buck has half a mind to scoot over to the other side of the couch, making sure Eddie can sit next to Chris, but Eddie simply drops down next to Buck.  
"Everything go okay?" Buck whispers, leaning over to Eddie. He nods. "And with you guys?"  
Buck smiles. "Yeah, great."

A few weeks later they eat at Eddie's; Bobby, Athena, Chim, Maddie, Hen, Karen and Buck. Everyone brought a few sides and Eddie cooked the rest.  
The whole feels incredibly familial. As Buck looks around the table he can't help but feel lucky, the people he works with whom he trusts implicitly, who have his back and he has theirs.  
Christopher has a flush high on his cheeks, head thrown back as he giggles when Hen whispers something into his ear.  
He sees the way Chim and Maddie flow back and forth so easily, he sees the admiration Bobby has for Athena in his eyes.  
And every now and then, he catches Eddie's eye. Eddie's been mostly quiet, sipping his beer and smiling.  
_You okay?_ Buck mouths when it's the third time their gazes cross and he can't stand it anymore. Eddie's smile widens and he nods before quickly looking away.

Once everyone's done eating they move to the living room, finding a spot to sit somewhere on or around the couch, the coffee table now filled with wine glasses and beer bottles.  
Buck's still standing next to the couch when he hears his name being called behind him. Chris beckons him with his hand and Buck crouches down.  
"I got a star on my homework," Christopher grins proudly, and Buck can't help but mirror it.  
"What?! That's amazing, look at you, you little genius!" He hugs him, enjoying the laughter he hears right next to his ear.  
"I knew you could do it," Buck says when he's pulled back, his hands still around Chris' torso.  
"With your help," Christopher says softly, and Buck pokes him in the side.  
"I barely did anything, don't even try to give me credit!" Buck fixes him with a stern look and Christopher nods as he barely surpresses his giggles.  
They join the rest in the living room and Buck sits down onto the carpet, not batting an eye when Christopher maneuvers his way onto Buck's lap, his crutches on the ground next to him.  
Buck laughs at something Athena says and then sees Eddie laugh as well, teeth visible as he throws his head back. It's been a while since Buck has seen him this... _loose_ , like he's carrying less weight.  
He looks good like this. Buck wants him to always look like that. 

When everyone heads home, Buck says goodbye to Eddie last.  
"Thanks for this, it was good," Buck says, genuine and soft, and Eddie's eyes sparkle as he looks back at him.  
Buck closes his arms around Eddie, well aware he's letting this hug last longer than their usual ones, letting the palms of his hands rest on Eddie's back.  
He squeezes a little, closes his eyes and tries to lock this moment in.  
When he pulls back, Eddie has a small smile on his face but his eyes are full of uncertainty.  
Buck clears his throat, his gut pooling with shame at the line he just crossed, and then turning his attention to Christopher.  
He's standing with his crutches, grinning despite being completely wiped out.  
"I think," Buck says, tugging Chris' shirt down a little, "that you're gonna sleep really well tonight."  
Chris giggles a little. "It's way past my bedtime."  
Buck huffs a laugh. "It is buddy, but parties are special so it's okay."  
Christopher leans forward and hugs him, his head resting on Buck's shoulder.  
When Buck gives them both one more wave as he stands by the door, Eddie's enthusiasm doesn't nearly match Christopher's.  
As he drives back to his own place, Buck tries not to think of how it felt like Eddie was relieved that Buck was leaving.

That feeling sticks around for the next week. Eddie is quiet, not just to Buck but in general. When they're out on the job, he doesn't seek out the contact he usually has with Buck.  
And it sucks, because whilst Buck loves all of his colleagues and can work with all of them, no one quite gets him like Eddie, it turns out.  
He feels out of place like he hasn't since he became a firefighter, he's off his game and he can feel it. And the one person he would normally fall back on, is the cause of the problem.  
Eddie gets snappier as time passes. There's clearly something bothering him, but he doesn't give Buck the time of day so he doesn't even have an opportunity to ask what's going on.  
Until Bobby sidelines them both, that is.  
The bell rings and both Buck and Eddie are halfway into the truck when Bobby stops them.  
"Eddie, Buck, you're sitting this one out."  
Both of them open their mouths to fervently protest but Bobby doesn't let them.  
"I don't know what is going on with the both of you, but you need to figure it out. Until you do, you're not answering calls."  
The truck pulls out of the firehouse and Buck and Eddie stand together, in the massive open space, dumbfounded.

After a few moments, Eddie sighs and starts walking towards the staircase.  
"Oh what, you're walking away from me again?" Buck says, because he can't not. Cap's right, they need to resolve whatever's going on. Not just to make sure they can do their jobs properly, but also because Buck can't _stand_ this invisible thing between him and Eddie.  
Eddie turns immediately like he's been burned.  
"Come again?" He walks a few long strides back towards Buck, his jaw set in annoyance.  
"You clearly have a problem with me Eddie, you're just too stubborn to talk about it." Buck says, crossing his arms over his chest. He can't help but feel annoyed now, he knows he did something to piss Eddie off but he doesn't know what or how to fix it.  
"I-" Eddie cuts himself off and takes a short breath, "I don't have a problem with you."  
Buck snorts. "Your face says differently."  
Eddie glares at him. "Leave it."  
"No!" Buck yells, for once not worrying about extra ears listening in since they're completely alone, "I won't leave it! Because my best friend isn't talking to me and I don't know why!"  
"Why did you help Christopher with his homework?" Eddie yells back at him, matching Buck's volume but as soon as the words have left his mouth, he looks embarrassed. 

"What?" Buck breathes, brows creasing in confusion as he deflates.  
"Christopher asked when you were coming over again," Eddie says, walking back and forth as he rubs a hand over his face, "and he was really insistent, so much so that I pressed him on it, and he told me he needed your help with homework again."  
Buck opens his mouth a few times but he doesn't know where to start.  
"Eddie, I didn't mean to-"  
Eddie now starts as well, "look, I don't want you to-"  
"Eddie!" Buck interrupts, "I get it, okay?! I made you feel like I invaded your son's life, like I'm trying to be this secondary dad who does things for him and helps him with school, and I never meant to do that, I don't ever want you to feel like I'm trying to worm my way into your son's life, okay?"  
He starts off loud and gets quieter as he continues talking.  
"I'm sorry if I crossed a line, I never meant to make you uncomfortable."

Eddie's staring at him, glassy-eyed, like Buck has grown a second head.  
"You think I'm, I'm _uncomfortable_?"  
Buck feels nervous now, like Eddie's about to explode. He shifts his weight from one foot to another and back again.  
"Well I don't know, it feels like it. I mean, all I did is help him with his maths, and you know how I am with math. Hell, when I got home I had to Google some things, you know? Christopher's smart and he asks a lot of questions, like _a lot_ of questions, and I-"  
Buck stops talking as Eddie huffs a small laugh.  
It sort of feels like the tension is gone, and Buck cracks a small smile.

"So are we good?"  
Eddie shakes his head. "We were always good, Buck." There's the frustration back in his voice, like there's this massive thing Buck's not seeing.  
"Then why have you been avoiding me like the plague man, I-" Buck shouts.  
"Because you're incredible!" Eddie shouts back, loud enough that it drowns out the rest of Buck's sentence and silences anything else he was going to say.  
"It's ridiculous," Eddie says, eyes wide as he raises his arms and then lets them drop by his side again, "you come over, you help look after my kid, you help him with his homework because he doesn't wanna bother me with it, you do it in a way where you actually got Chris _excited_ about it."  
Buck feels his heart pounding in his chest as he watches Eddie completely off-load, every thought he's been holding in now coming out unfiltered.  
"He likes you so much, you know. And you're so _easy_ with him. You know how people always say men are more attractive with kids? That increases exponentially when it's _your own_ kid."  
"You're a lot better at math than me," Buck says quietly.

"I just, I see you with Chris and I realise how much you're a part of his life, you know?" Eddie breathes, taking a step closer to Buck.  
"I get it, and it's a little too much, I-" Eddie steps forward and grabs his arm.  
"He likes you. So do I."  
Buck's mouth dries up as he follows Eddie's eyes that bounce all over his face.  
"I had been decently succesful at ignoring my own feelings for you but then I realized that Chris is also attached to you, and that spiralled everything out of control in my head. That's my kid, you know? I don't just let anyone in his life, let anyone get close to him. He's had enough people walk out on him."  
Eddie takes a deep breath.  
"I was determined to not let you get any closer," he gives a small smile, "but I'm too late."

Buck sucks in a soft breath and then raises a hand, placing it on Eddie's cheek, thumb brushing over the stubble, seeing the way Eddie's eyes glaze over and feeling that rush straight to his head.  
"I love Christopher, you know I do. But do you really think I'm always at your place _just_ to hang out with your kid?"  
Buck grins, and Eddie slowly smiles back.  
"I know I'm not his dad, and I'm not trying to be. But I wanna be in both your lives, any way that you'll have me."  
Eddie turns his head slightly, Buck's thumb catching on his bottom lip. Eddie doesn't miss the hushed gasp that falls from Buck's lips.  
"I just want you," Eddie says, voice just above a whisper, and he meets Buck halfway as they lean in.  
Both of Buck's hands land on either side of Eddie's face, and Eddie's arms close around Buck's waist as he pulls him closer.  
Eddie's dizzy with the feeling of Buck's mouth moving against his own, how it felt like something that would only ever exist in his mind.  
Buck pulls back but stays close, close enough that he can feel Eddie's breath on his own lips.  
"Could we maybe help Chris with his homework in shifts? Maths is really hard."  
Eddie kisses the grin off his face, and when the rest of the 118 return to the firehouse, they decide not to ask how the argument was resolved.

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello pals!! first work from me for these two, they're real cute. hope you enjoy, please let me know what you thought!  
> you can also find me on [tumblr](https://softlofty.tumblr.com/) :)


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